It’s the next afternoon, and Barbie and Teresa head over to Brunchy, Pacific Island’s hottest new cafe.
“I am SO excited to start wedding planning!” Barbie gushes to her best friend Teresa. “You’ll be my maid of honour, right? What am I saying – OF COURSE you’ll be my maid of honour!”
Barbie isn’t even letting Teresa get a word in.
“What colour do you think my dress should be? White is traditional, of course, but I was thinking… pink? You know, in classic Barbie fashion? What do you think?”
“Barbie, I hate to be negative, but are you sure you want to marry Ken? The very same Ken that thought your last name was Boberts for ten years?”
“Puh-lease, Teresa! That’s in the past! I’m focusing on the future! I can just see it, Ken and I, having a wonderful, happy marriage together!”
“Well, I know what’s in my future!” Teresa says, confidently strutting up to the counter to order.
“One iced matcha, please.”
“Certainly. Would you like to add some cookies for only $4 more? I made them fresh this morning.”
“No, thanks. Just on card.”
“Not a problem!” The barista smiles. “I’ll bring it out when it’s ready. Feel free to take a seat.”
The barista prepares Teresa’s coffee.
Teresa takes a seat at a table and waits for Barbie to finishing ordering. She can’t help but think -is Barbie crazy? Surely she doesn’t really want to marry Ken. He’s a terrible boyfriend!
She shakes her head to herself. Barbie’s delusional.
Speak of the devil, here comes Ken!
“Ken!” Barbie is overjoyed. “I was just talking about you! We have SO MUCH wedding planning to do. I’m so excited!”
“Actually… I was hoping we could talk about that… About the wedding…”
Ken isn’t sure how to start this off, but he knows he needs to break things off with Barbie – and fast! He decided to meet them at the cafe so Barbie wouldn’t make too much of a scene.
“You know what,” Teresa says, stumbling out of her seat. She can’t get out of here fast enough! “I just remembered that I left something in my car… I’ll be back… Later…”
Barbie hardly notices. She is too busy focusing on Ken. What is he talking about?
Ken takes a deep breath. Here it goes! Be brave, Ken. Think of Ryan! Do it for Ryan.
“Barbie… I can’t marry you. I’m in love with someone else.”
“WHAT?” Barbie is horrified. “WHO?”
“It’s Ryan. I like boys, Barbie. We can’t be together.”
“Are you telling me… That all this time, this past sixty years, you’ve never been attracted to me at all? That our whole relationship has been a LIE? And then, you asked to MARRY ME?”
Barbie is fuming. She has never felt rage like this in her entire life – not even when her frenemy Raquelle stole the last pair of limited-edition boots from Forever 21, or when she was forced to sit in economy class on her most recent flight to Greece.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t make a scene.”
Ken knew how much Barbie liked to make scenes. He had done this in a coffee shop to avoid this exact situation. He turned around. People were staring.
“DON’T MAKE A SCENE?? Ken, you RUINED my life! I can’t believe you! You couldn’t have told me this earlier?”
“Whoa, girl,” they are interrupted by a fashionable high schooler. Barbie had seen her around the coffee shop before. “It’s 2021. Being gay is cool. You gotta accept him for who he is!”
“I’m not mad at him for being gay, bimbo!” Barbie retorts. She is seething. “I’m mad at him for cheating on me! How about you mind your own business?”
The barista approaches the table, pretending she (and the entire coffee shop) hadn’t been listening to everything that has gone down. “I’ve got one iced mocha and one iced matcha!”
“Just put them down.” Barbie mumbles. “Anywhere is fine.”
She is heartbroken. Teresa was right. This was all too good to be true. She couldn’t believe that Ken had kept this a secret for so long! And to cheat on her with that man-child Ryan, too? He wasn’t even that good-looking!
“Ooh, is that our drinks ready?” Teresa arrives back at the table. She can sense Barbie’s energy had changed. “Everything okay?”
“I’ll text you, Barbie.” Ken says.
“Whatever.” Barbie mumbles.
“I know this is a lot to process. It’s a lot for me, too.”
Ken stares at Barbie for a moment. He isn’t sure what to say, and Barbie doesn’t seem like she’s in the mood for talking. “Okay. I’ll see you around.”
“Okay, girl, fill me in. Firstly -what happened between you guys? And secondly, why is the whole cafe staring at us?”
Barbie is silent. She takes a long sip of her drink.
“The wedding’s off, Teresa,” she says eventually. “Ken cheated on me. He’s in love with someone else.”
“What? With who?” A million names run through Teresa’s head. Summer? Nicki? Surely not Raquelle?
“With a guy. With Ryan.”
“What?” This was not what she was expecting!